


There are Bright Flowers in this World

by Slyst



Series: Embrace Me For Eternity [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Happy, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Photographer, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Bodyguard Levi Ackerman, Bottom Eren Yeager, Bottom Levi Ackerman, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Canon Compliant, College Student Eren Yeager, Come Swallowing, Consensual Sex, Eren Yeager Is a Ray of Sunshine, Eren Yeager Is a Tease, Eren Yeager is a Little Shit, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Kissing, Levi is Bad At Feelings (Shingeki no Kyojin), M/M, Memories, Model Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Nude Photos, Past Character Death, Past Lives, Photographer Eren Yeager, Post-Canon, Recovered Memories, Rimming, Sappy, Sappy Ending, Shameless Smut, Smut, Spit As Lube, Suicide, Top Eren Yeager, Top Levi Ackerman, True Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:09:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29567307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slyst/pseuds/Slyst
Summary: [Disclaimer]: The character deaths are *not* permanent. While there is lots of angst, sadness and tragedy [in AoT canonverse only] there will be a happy, wholesome ending. Aka everyone lives happily ever after.Levi catches a bright green-eye brat taking his picture one day and is uncharacteristically drawn to him. Together they discover a shared past and the world they once lived in and embark on a journey to recover their lost memories. They quickly find out there is more to their relationship than meets the eye. Just how deep does their relationship go and will it withstand the test of time of 2000 years?*all manga/anime spoilers*
Relationships: Levi Ackerman/Eren Yeager
Series: Embrace Me For Eternity [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2186019
Comments: 6
Kudos: 20





	1. Reflection of the Setting Sun

**Author's Note:**

  * For [IvyKalina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvyKalina/gifts).



> I dedicate this work to IvyKalina who put up endlessly with my ramblings about what I wanted to write, the painful amount of angst, and reading and rereading even the smallest parts. This fic wouldn't have made it without her valuable feedback! And of course her beautiful art to be included at the end of every chapter. I also recommend everyone check out her AoT fic as well~
> 
> Also like to add I've added all the tags I can think of that will be relevant, there may be more to come as I edit and reread~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first Meeting~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to chapter 1! This has been a passion project of mine. It is finished and I will be releasing 1 chapter a week. Stayed tuned at the end for some artwork to go along with it~
> 
> Song to listen along: Red Swan - Yoshiki & Hyde
> 
> What's the lie  
> What's the truth  
> What to believe  
> In my life  
> See the flowers breathing in the rain  
> Try growing to the edge of light  
> It's so far away to reach out to the sky  
> I'll seize, I'll seize the roses with my wings  
> We'll fly

Levi watched out of the corner of his eye as the young man took another picture of him. This was the third one and he couldn’t figure out for the life of him why _he_ had to be the subject. All he wanted to do was have a goddamn drink in peace at his favourite bar. But no, here was some brat with a fancy ass camera _sneaking_ pictures. And poorly at that. Sighing the shorter man set his money for the drinks on the table top before hopping off the stool to make his way out to where the boy was still snapping pictures.

“Oi brat. What do you think you’re doing?”

Large green eyes widened in surprise as the boy seemed startled at Levi’s arrival. Eyes catching the reflection of the setting sun, flecks of gold shimmering in their depths, “Oh, uh sorry, sir, I just...”

“Just what?” Levi’s patience was quickly running out. He looked away, pulling his eyes away from the endless green and gold. There was something eerily familiar about them, something nagging at his consciousness, yet he was positive he had never met or seen this boy before. _Not in this life._

“Just, I’m sorry, do we know each other?” The boy asked, “I felt like... like I knew you.”

Just like that all of Levi’s annoyance dissolved and he was left feeling off balance and more curious than anything, “You should ask people before you just take their picture.” He grouched but couldn’t muster up the same irritation from a few moments ago.

“You would have let me?’ Green eyes sparkled with something almost mischievous and Levi was suddenly wondering just how much he should get involved with this boy.

“No.” He probably would have but the kid didn’t need to know that. Levi nearly laughed at the look of dejection that fell over the boy’s face, but instead of laughing his mouth moved of its own accord, “I’m Levi.” Emerald’s lit up at the given name.

“I’m Eren.”

The pair walked down the street in an oddly comfortable silence. Levi wasn’t sure where they were going or if they were going anywhere at all. If he was being honest with himself, he wasn’t even sure why he was still there in the first place other than being drawn to the curious sensation of familiarity he got in Eren’s presence.

“Capta--” Eren froze.

Levi felt a rush of cold run through his body like ice in his veins freezing him to his very core. Goosebumps prickled along his arms, sending chills down his spine. He’d been called that before. By that very same voice. _Captain Levi!_ He stared at the taller boy to his right.

“Why did you call me that?” He tried to keep his voice even and unaffected, only failing a little bit.

Eren shifted on his feet and rubbed the back of his neck, his face a brilliant shade of red. Levi’s demeanour softened instinctively.

“I honestly don’t know, uh, Levi. I don’t know where that came from. It just... slipped out for some reason.” The taller boy seemed truly confused, “Are you sure we don’t know each other?”

Levi was already shaking his head, “We don’t, atleast...'' _not in this life._ Those words echoed through his head again, “I mean, it's entirely possible we’ve passed each other in the street before.” Levi supplied weakly. He knew it was a poor excuse for why they were both feeling the way they were but he was at a loss.

“Oh right, yea... that’s true.” It was obvious that Eren didn’t believe it either but neither of them had any answers.

Levi was beginning to feel like he should leave, that _whatever_ it was that was going on was going to change his life if he kept digging. What would he gain from this? Was there even anything to figure out? Maybe he’d had too much to drink. Yes, he’d clearly had too much to drink. The deeper part of Levi’s mind reminded him that his alcohol tolerance was incredibly high and he’d only had 2 drinks.

“Look, Eren. I don’t really know what’s going on but I think there’s been some sort of misunderstanding.” He tried to avoid looking into those brilliant green eyes. Every time he did he felt like he was getting drawn into them, drawn into the open easy expressions they gave. He liked how the reflection of the street lights made them look golden and dark. He wondered how they would look, pupils wide and blown out with arousal. Yet, somehow, Levi already knew what they would look like. He knew what they would look like filled with tears, burning with anger, shining with laughter and joy. How did he know?

“--vi? Levi? Hello?” A hand was being waved in front of his face.

Levi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. _Fuck._ “What?”

“Er you just seemed like you zoned out there for a minute. Everything okay?”

 _No everything is not okay_ he felt like saying. He didn’t know what to do. He sighed again and closed his eyes, willing himself to take a deep breath.

“I don’t know.” He let the air out of his lungs, watching it cloud around him in the cold evening air.

“Want to come over?” Eren asked. It was a dangerous question and the taller boy’s voice held more hope than it had any right to when asking a stranger to come over.

Suddenly Levi was worried about how many strangers Eren had asked over. Did he make this a habit? Levi steadfastly ignored the strange pang of jealousy at the idea. _The fuck?_ Then his mouth was moving before he could stop himself.

“Do you often invite random strangers you meet on the street to your home?”

Eren’s eyes widened with what Levi could only guess was surprise, “What? No! No… I don’t. Just… just you.” He finished lamely as he kicked a stone on the ground.

“Why me?” Levi’s mouth was moving again without his permission.

“I don’t know. I just feel like there’s something missing. There’s something, I can’t figure it out. Don’t you feel it too?”

Large green puppy eyes bore into Levi’s own, he knew all too well that it was over for him. He _knew_ that look, that look that burrowed its way into his core. _Double fuck._

“Okay. Lead the way.” If somebody had told him this morning he’d be following a stranger to their home he would have scoffed in their face and called them an idiot. Clearly he was the idiot now.

The walk to Eren’s place was surprisingly short. Levi had half a mind to wonder if he had been preemptively led in that general direction before even agreeing to come over. There should have been alarm bells screaming at him to leave but he felt oddly at ease and not at all threatened. Besides, he had no doubt he could overpower the other boy regardless of their height difference.

“Tea?” Eren asked as Levi settled into the couch.

“Sure.” Levi raised an eyebrow, mildly surprised. He figured the boy would offer him liquor or coffee. He was pleasantly surprised by the option of tea. After a short nod the taller boy went into the kitchen to prepare their drinks. Levi took the opportunity to glance around the apartment.

It wasn’t a large place, clearly a 1 bedroom. The furniture was fairly plain, but he noticed the place seemed meticulously clean. Not that he was complaining, he loved nothing more than a clean body and a clean home. He was just surprised that a boy of Eren’s age, well, however old Eren was, was so tidy. Almost painfully so.

“Sorry for the wait.” Eren was standing in front of where Levi was sitting holding out a teacup, an actual teacup, not a mug. Levi reached up to grab the teacup, fingers moving to grasp delicately around the edge when it happened. A shock rocketed through his body as their fingers touched and Levi’s vision went white.

_“Captain! I made tea.” A grinning Eren carried a tray into the room to set it down on an old worn looking desk. Everything looked rustic, even his clothes were strange. Leather straps criss crossing all over his body. He picked up the teacup and handed it out towards Levi. Fingers reached out to grasp the rim of the cup. In the process they brushed fingers, sending another jolt through the shorter man, his vision going white again._

Levi jerked back violently, the teacup tumbling from their hands, the liquid splashing down Levi’s pant leg and across his thighs in the process, “Fuck!” The liquid was unbearably hot against his skin where the fabric stuck against him.

Before he could even comprehend what was happening Eren was there, hands on his belt buckle, “Off. Levi they have to come off!”

With a flurry of movement and shooing away of hands Levi was dragging his pants down his legs and kicking them off in a rush, leaving himself in his thankfully still dry boxers. Eren was back at his side with a cold wet towel, laying it over his legs. Levi laid back on the couch, his eyes shut as he tried to comprehend what had happened. He’d just had an honest to god vision. A vision of Eren no less. Was it because their fingers had touched? That seemed to be the case considering he had snapped out of it when they touched in the vision as well.

“Um, Levi?”

“Yea.” He didn’t need to hear the question to have an answer, “You should probably make more tea.”

Minutes later the pair were both settled on the couch with tea in hand, Levi’s having been handed to him via the coffee table. He breathed in the soothing scent of the tea. Just like everything else, something about it was familiar, something about it felt like home.

Levi was the first to break the silence, “What did you see?”

“I saw... I saw you. You were sitting at a desk, maybe doing paperwork or something? I was bringing you tea.”

“Are you sure it was me?” Levi felt his stomach twist in discomfort.

“Yea. You looked exactly the same. Did you see me? What did I look like?”

The shorter man had to look away from the intensity of Eren’s gaze. He was leaning over towards Levi, big teal eyes so wide and determined. So full of youth and eagerness.

“Yea. I saw you. You looked the same, except your hair was shorter and your outfit was kind of strange.”

“It felt strange.”

The two fell into silence again, both contemplating their visions and sipping their tea slowly.

“Eren. I want to try something.”

There was scarcely a moment for thought before the taller boy replied, “What is it?”

“Well it seems like our fingers touching is what triggered the sight. So, we should try touching again.” A curl of heat swirled in Levi’s gut at the thought of touching Eren. The heat matching the look in Eren’s eyes as his pupils dilated at Levi’s words. Maybe this was a bad idea but he wanted to know more.

“How should we touch?” Eren’s voice had dropped an octave, a slight rasp at the edges as he leaned even closer to Levi.

“Brat move back you’re crowding me.” Suddenly Levi was desperate to get some space away from the boy, desperate to quell the near arousal at the sound of his voice, the feel of his proximity, and the intense warmth radiating from him.

“Oh sorry sir. Er, Levi. I don’t know why I just called you sir.”

Levi sighed he wondered if he was starting to get a headache. He was surprised it didn’t start earlier, but he ignored the voice in his head telling him there was something about the tea and its all too familiar flavour and scent.

“It’s fine. Let’s get a move on. Touching your hand fine?”

With a nod from Eren Levi moved his hand to hover over the other boy’s where it rested on his thigh. Everything in Levi screamed that this was too comfortable, too familiar, and all too overwhelming but he _needed_ to know. After pulling in a deep breath he laid his hand down onto Eren’s and his vision went white.

_Levi stared at the papers on the desk in front of him, willing them to finish themselves. He had been at this paperwork for hours and was ready to throw it all in the fire out of frustration. Large warm hands came up to grip his shoulders. Long, strong fingers pressing and kneading into his flesh soothingly, thumbs digging into the base of Levi’s neck._

_“Captain, you should take a break.” A familiar voice whispered in his ear, heated breath against his neck sending shivers of arousal through him._

_“You know this needs to be done by tonight.” He couldn’t resist leaning back into those hands, and into the easy affection Eren always gave so freely._

_Next Levi felt the soft press of full lips to the back of his neck, he felt the taller boy hum against his skin, a wave of goosebumps prickling down his spine._

_“Eren…” Levi warned. It was only a half-hearted warning really. He had a hard time truly denying the boy anything. He brought up his hand to clasp one of Eren’s in reassurance -- immediately his vision went white._

Levi immediately jerked his hand off of Eren’s as a wave of arousal rushed over him, he gripped the towel over his thighs as he hunched in on himself trying to understand what he just experienced. Trying to comprehend the vision. He risked a glance over in the other boy’s direction and found him in no better condition. Hands gripped his knees, face flushed red, green eyes wide and disbelieving.

“You should probably go.” Levi was not surprised by these words. He had been thinking the same thing.

“Yea.” He was already yanking his still damp pants on, boner be damned. It was only a few minutes before he was out the door, neither of them speaking. The crisp winter air cooled Levi’s heated flesh, remnants of an oddly stubborn arousal that almost refused to go away. He was at a loss for what to do or think. What was his connection to this boy? _Why?_

* * *

Eren sat on the couch listening to the door close behind Levi, his hands clenching and unclenching against his thighs. He thought he could almost feel the lingering touch of the shorter man’s hand on the back of his own. He brought his other hand up to touch his lips, lips that had touched Levi’s neck in their joint vision. His neck had been soft, his hair smelled of soap and leather and it had felt like _home._

The taller boy closed his eyes, trying to bring back the memory. This is what he understood it to be now. It was a memory of some sort. What he didn’t know was if it was a memory from the past, the future, or even from another world. He could feel it in his very being that he knew Levi, he knew all of him, physically, and emotionally. It made sense to Eren now, why he had been so drawn to the man sitting at the bar sipping scotch by himself.

Eren did not sleep well that night. Fractured dreams of being chased by giants as he flew through the sky brandishing what looked like two very large exacto knives haunted his thoughts. He’d watched in horror as one grabbed somebody out of the air right beside him before stuffing them into its mouth, the sounds of bones crunching ringing out around him. He’d woken up with a scream and the taste of blood in his mouth after that. Sleep was elusive for the rest of the night.

Class the next day had been no better. The lack of sleep caused Eren to keep dozing off during his lessons, only to be awoken by the echoes of more screams. By the end of his last class for the day Eren was ready to snap at the next person who tried to talk to him. He’d wondered if Levi was having the same issue. The older man had been noticeably absent in all Eren’s nightmares. Maybe Levi was just fine and he had gone home that night and had a perfectly fine sleep, without the bloody dreams. Eren wanted to know.

After class Eren made his was back towards the bar from the day before. He had a feeling Levi would be there again. Even more surprising was that the man himself was leaning against the wall at the front smoking a cigarette when Eren arrived. He didn’t even flinch when the taller boy stopped infront of him.

“You too eh?” Levi stomped out his cigarette on the ground before looking up at the taller boy.

“Uh, yea. I guess so. The dreams?”

“Yea.” Eren watched as Levi sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets, “So now what?”

He had this urge to reach out, run his fingers through the soft looking black hair and scratch them across the shaved undercut. Fingers still twitching Eren also shoved his hands into his pockets to quell the itch.

“Um, well I wanted to try something.” The pair fell into step as they walked towards Eren’s place almost as if by habit.

“Oh?”

“I um, was looking at the pictures I took yesterday and noticed something weird in the ones I took of you.”

Levi raised an eyebrow and glanced over at Eren, “What?”

“They’re pictures of you but, they look like there’s some sort of overlay. Almost like… it’s superimposing that strange outfit over top of your clothes. I can show you.”

The shorter man let out a long breath, “Guess you better.”

The remainder of the walk was quiet, both men seemingly lost in their own thoughts. The night was cool and refreshing. A soft breeze ruffled black hair causing the oddly familiar smell of tobacco to surround Eren. He found it almost comforting. Even soothing. Eren was positive now that he had never met Levi before. Atleast in his current life. But he had a sneaking suspicion that there was more to his life than he was aware of. A thought that terrified him. What kind of history did he have with this man? Did he want to find out?

* * *

Levi looked at the photos spread across the coffee table as he sat on the couch with a cup of that familiar tea. The scent wafting gently around him. He’d been skeptical when Eren first told him about the pictures. Yet here they were plain as day. It was him, sitting at his usual spot at the bar with a glass of scotch in his hand. He could see the charcoal grey suit he usually wore, but could also see bands of dark brown, or black wrapped around his arms and going down his chest. He cursed under his breath.

“What about pictures of you? Do they do the same thing?” he asked.

Eren shook his head, “No.”

“So how do we figure out what the fuck is going on?” The older man really didn’t want to suffer through another night of bad dreams.

“Um… I don’t think you’ll like it.” Eren rubbed the back of his neck in what was becoming a familiar habit.

“Just spit it out.”

“We probably have to uh, touch more and regain more memories.”

Levi shouldn’t have been surprised. Really, he was mad at himself for not realising it already, “Fuck, of course. Fine. How do we do this. I don’t fancy remembering us fucking.”

It wasn’t that he wasn’t attracted to Eren. Infact, he was probably more attracted than he should be, in part thanks to those initial memories. It wasn’t just nightmares that had been keeping him up the previous night. In reality, he just didn’t know this person. He didn’t know Eren like he seemed to in the memories. He didn’t know how different or similar this Eren was to that one but, he had a feeling he would find out.

“Right, of course sir- Er, Levi. Sorry. I guess it’s best to start with something easy? Like, what if I touch your arm?”

“Okay. Do it.” Levi closed his eyes and braced himself mentally as he felt a warm hand press against his forearm. The reaction was instant.

_Levi was staring at a young Eren behind bars. The rage of a thousand suns burned in emerald green eyes as he vowed to kill every titan in existence. Levi could feel the conviction behind those words. He didn’t doubt them in the slightest. Eren would be their hope._

_The scene suddenly changed. Eren was kneeling on the ground in a crowded court room, hands cuffed behind his pack to a pole. He looked lost and angry and completely helpless. Before anyone could react, Levi launched a foot into the younger boy’s gut. Again, and again. He kicked Eren. Blood flew, teeth flew when he kicked him in the face. Hands grabbed soft brown hair, yanking the boy forward against the restraints. The crowd gasped; mouths covered as they watched in horror. Levi didn’t hear what the memory of himself had said over his own internal yelling. Unable to comprehend his actions Levi could only watch helplessly as Eren was beat to a near pulp. The younger boy hadn’t even flinched or tried to get away from the onslaught of abuse, taking it all in as if he deserved it. Levi despaired at the sight before him, his heart pounding in his chest. He needed to stop this memory. Levi reached out again, fingers wrapping tightly around Eren’s arm. He dreaded to know what he would do next but suddenly as if he was wrenched backwards, Levi’s sight went black._

Levi jerked himself up to his feet and away from Eren as if he was on fire. Eren was standing too, his chest heaving with his breaths, his eyes wide and shocked. Levi was at a loss for words. How could he explain?

“Levi?” A timid voice broke the fraught silence, “Why were you kicking me?”

The older man shook his head as he looked away, “I don’t know. I couldn’t control anything. I don’t know why Eren. I’m sorry.” He couldn’t look into those sea green depths. Levi clenched his fists in frustration. _What the fuck???_ He’d never felt so out of his depth before. It’s not like Levi hadn’t gotten into his fair share of fights and conflicts but he’d never kick a helpless person like that. They’d only been at this for like 10 minutes and Levi was ready to leave. He didn’t want to know more; he didn’t want to know why. He didn’t like how Eren was looking at him like a kicked puppy, both figuratively and literally. Surely Levi hadn’t been a bad person? Wouldn’t that contradict who he was now? Yes, he was pretty rough around the edges, but he would never have described himself as a bad person.

“Let’s try again.” Eren sat back down on the couch. His big green eyes sparkling in the light of the room as he looked up at Levi expectantly.

“Are you sure?” The look Eren gave him nearly made his knees buckle. How was this kid still so trusting?

“Yes. I want to know.” The determination in his voice was undeniable.

It reminded Levi then of how Eren had looked in that prison cell. So fiery and passionate in his conviction. They were definitely the same person. Levi felt himself being drawn to this boy. He could sense the intensity that seemed to lay just below the surface and wondered what it would be like to be the recipient of it. Their previous visions seemed to only brush the surface of whatever lay beneath.

“Okay.” Without further argument Levi sat down again and braced himself to continue as Eren reached out. Long fingers pressed themselves against Levi’s arm. Almost immediately a hot flush of arousal ripped through Levi’s body and before he could stop the memory, he was flung into it.

_“Eren, you’re so good.” Levi’s deep voice broke through the sounds of slurping and sucking coming from in front of him. His rough calloused fingers ran through soft brown locks gently. His heart swelled at the sight of Eren, his beautiful Eren. Kneeling on the floor under Levi’s desk hard at work. His mouth and tongue working together to lick and suck at the older man’s leaking cock. Vibrant eyes lidded and hazy with arousal._

_“Mmmmm” Eren hummed as he slid down Levi’s dick, burying his nose is coarse black hair. He used one hand to rub and massage the captain’s balls while working his tongue up and down the hot velvety length._

_Levi’s heart was racing as he watched the memory unfold. He knew he was as hard as a rock in real life. His own body reacting to the younger boy’s ministrations. He could feel the overwhelming amount of love this Levi felt for Eren, it was suffocating not being able to voice it properly. He didn’t **know** this Eren but at the same time he did, on an instinctual level. He knew that Eren loved it when he brushed his hair back from his face, taking in the glittering green abyss of his eyes so blown out with blatant arousal. This he did again, his fingers felt almost foreign with how rough they were, thick calluses lining the pads of his fingers and decorating his palm. It muted the softness of Eren’s hair against his hand. He wanted to feel it, to rub the shiny strands between his own real unblemished fingers._

_A hot wet tongue slipping between the captain’s foreskin pulled a low moan out of Levi’s throat as it dragged his attention back to the beautiful boy, “Hey, Eren. Come here.”_

_Levi coaxed the younger boy off him, an apparently difficult endeavour as he was determined to keep his dick in his mouth. Soon Levi was tugging Eren up to straddle his legs. His cock ached painfully for release, but he could feel the memory Levi’s heart clenching as he cupped Eren’s face in his hands. The adoration was painstakingly clear in the other boy’s eyes, there was nobody else in his world._

_Without hesitation Levi leaned down to press his lips to Eren’s, to his lovers’, careless of where they had just been. Eren leaned into the kiss eagerly, hands coming up to tangle in Levi’s hair, tugging it gently. One hand slid down Levi’s neck, fingers pausing briefly over his thundering pulse before moving down to grasp his arm. The older man inside the memory was quiet as the sight faded away. Leaving the pair of lovers to their quiet whispers and kisses of affection._

Levi didn’t open his eyes when he felt himself back in his own real body. He didn’t move, didn’t say anything. There was a chasm of unspoken feelings gaping between them. He felt Eren’s presence at his side, the younger boy’s hand still warm on his arm. Now his presence felt familiar and even comforting, the memories from his vision were bleeding into his own. Levi wondered if he would lose himself to them. He was scared he would forget himself if he gave in. He already felt a bit out of sorts, like he wasn’t Levi, but this person who apparently loved Eren more than anything. It was so real and vibrant that he almost felt like he would drown in it.

Levi braced himself when he felt Eren remove his hand. Really, he shouldn’t be feeling like this, he wasn’t the one who’d had his mouth on a dick. He ignored the small part of his mind that reminded him that he had _kissed_ somebody who’d had his dick in their mouth. Not that Levi was inherently homophobic or anything to that degree. He was just very particular about being clean and managing bodily functions. He knew he had felt like that in the memory as well but something about Eren just made him not care about that stuff. It hadn’t mattered to him then. It wouldn’t matter now he realised with startling clarity.

* * *

The silence was nearly unbearable but Eren didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what to say. He could still practically taste Levi’s sex on his lips. He was painfully turned on and it didn’t seem like it was going to go away so easily.

“I’m sorry.” A deep voice broke the silence.

Eren raised his eyes brows, eye widening as he looked at Levi. The older man wouldn’t meet his eyes, “Huh? Why?”

“Clearly I must have coerced you or…”

“What? No!” Eren found himself shouting in protest. He wondered if he should just let Levi take the blame but… he didn’t feel that at all. He knew himself, and he knew he would never let anyone force him into something he didn’t want. He would rather die.

Levi looked startled at Eren’s outburst, “Then why…?”

“Look, I don’t know either. I just know that you didn’t… _force_ me to do anything. I felt… like…” Eren felt his face flush red with embarrassment. But he decided he needed to be honest. About all of it.

“Felt what Eren?”

“I.. I liked it… I liked you… a lot. Didn’t you feel it too? There was something else there. Like… I loved you—”

“Eren don’t, we don’t know anything about what’s happening.”

“That’s why I’m telling you what I felt! I know that I loved you, a lot.” Eren thought he would combust from the mortification of his admission.

The older man was silent after that as if contemplating what to say next. Eren wondered if he would leave. He wouldn’t blame him to be honest. He almost wished he could leave himself but… those feelings he’d had for Levi in the memory were so real his heart ached now at the idea of being separated. Saying he’d liked what he was doing in the memory was an understatement. He’d loved it. Loved the taste of Levi on him, loved the look of pure unadulterated love and affection he’d had watching the boy.

“I felt it too.” Levi admitted quietly.

“Then why—"

“Because I don’t know you! We met two days ago Eren.”

“Do you really believe that? If you felt what I did then you know that we didn’t just meet.”

“Then what? What kind of crack-pot explanation do you have for this shit?”

Eren was at a loss, “I don’t… know. Maybe a past life.” He offered helplessly.

“A past life.”

“Yea…like, I doesn’t it look like something from the past?”

“So, you’re saying these titans roamed the world and ate people in the past?”

“Look I don’t know! Do you have any better ideas?” Eren was getting frustrated at Levi’s reaction but he also knew that he was just upset at not having any ideas. He knew on a deeper level that it wasn’t Eren he was angry at. It was never Eren.

“No, not really.” Levi sighed in resignation, letting his body sag back against the couch, “Then what do we do now?”

The younger boy looked at Levi on the couch, so quiet, “I mean, we could just hang out? Get to know each other? Nobody says we have to jump right into anything.”

Eren was desperate to get Levi to stick around. Even if they were only memories, he knew he just needed Levi like he needed to breathe even if he didn’t quite feel it yet. He suspected Levi felt the same.

“I supposed you’re right.”

“Look um, I’ll start. I’m Eren Jaeger. I’m a first-year student in university taking photography.”

Levi scoffed as he moved to stand up, “Look, we aren't doing this here. Do you drink?” Eren nodded, “Good, I need one, or four. Let’s go.”

Eren was over the moon as he pulled on his coat and shoes. He’d been dying to get to know Levi on a more personal level ever since he’d been sneaking pictures of him the few days prior. The adoration he’d felt in those memories wasn’t wrong. Levi was beautiful. Silky looking jet-black hair with a meticulously kept undercut. The man was short, but his presence was titanic. Overwhelming. Eren had wanted to know him more, but he regretted that it had to be in such a forced way in the end. On a whim he grabbed his camera on the way out, ignoring the raised eyebrow the older man gave him.

“I like taking pictures of the city at night.” Eren mumbled in defense. He wouldn’t lie, he would kill to do a photoshoot with Levi, but he also knew this was not the time to try. He was more than happy the man was willing to do this much. He tried not to smile too much as they headed out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading! I hope you enjoyed and I appreciate any and all feedback and comments.


	2. Brilliant Green jewels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi can't stay away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO THIS IS EARLY BECAUSE I SUCK! I accidentally posted chapter 4 after I was working on it in drafts so I decided to just publish chapter 2 so everyone who got the notification didn't get their hopes up for nothing.
> 
> Chapter 2 is here~  
> Song for listening:  
> Tomorrow - Mika
> 
> You and I, we're really  
> Really not so innocent  
> Consequences won't be easy  
> From here, every road leads to regret  
> But if this ain't what you wanted  
> Then why'd you even come here? It's two a.m.  
> If this isn't what you wanted  
> Then why'd you put a smiley in your message then?  
> Backseat, light off  
> Window open, stereo on  
> So kiss me in the backseat of my vintage Benz  
> Oh, who gives a shit about tomorrow?  
> When it comes, we can worry then  
> Oh, who gives a shit about tomorrow?  
> So kiss me under the light of a thousand stars  
> Oh, who gives a shit about tomorrow?  
> When you know how lucky we are  
> Oh, tomorrow worry 'bout tomorrow

The night was crisp and cool as the pair headed down the street towards Levi’s usual bar. If he was going to do this it was going to be somewhere familiar and comfortable. He nodded to the bartender as he walked by, leading Eren to a quieter corner in the back.

The waiter was already setting down a glass of his usual by the time they sat down, “What do you drink? It’s on me.” Levi was looking at Eren. The boy seemed startled.

“Oh um, beer. Just whatever’s cheap.” Levi nodded and the waiter left.

He shouldn’t have been surprised. He’d done the college thing himself many years ago. It was, however, a stark reminder of just how young Eren was. Levi was already in his mid-thirties, _nearly_ old enough to be the boy’s father. He wondered then if the age difference had been just as big in the memories. He recalled then that Eren had looked a few years younger then and he personally felt like he had been in his early thirties. Perhaps a four-year difference. The realisation made Levi’s stomach churn. What was he doing getting involved with such a young kid then?

“Eren, how old were you in those memories?”

Eren tilted his head as he looked at Levi curiously, green eyes sparkling. The older man ignored the pang of affection that made his heart thump at such a small action.

“I dunno, like 15 or 16?” the younger man shrugged but frowned when he saw Levi’s eyebrows knit together.

“Fuck.” Levi cursed under his breath, “I don’t know if this is a good idea.”

“What why? You think I’m too young?”

“I could be your dad kid.”

“But you’re not! I’m 19 for fuck sakes, I’m not a child.”

“Yes, Eren you are—” Levi hissed. He couldn’t look at the boy because he knew he would cave the second he saw those big watery emerald eyes.

At that moment they were interrupted by the return of the waiter as he set their drinks down and bustled off. Eren immediately grabbed the glass of beer.

“Levi, enough. Did I feel like I was a kid in the memories? Because I sure as fuck felt everything but, and we weren’t doing things a kid should be—”

“I know! That’s the fucking problem Eren!” It was difficult keeping his voice down when the younger boy was challenging him on everything. Something he felt very familiar with. However, Levi had been steadfastly ignoring the fact that Eren was right. He had felt like anything but a child. His eyes had told a story of pain and of a life not meant to be lived by a kid. He had seen things nobody should have seen. Levi could feel it.

“Please, can we just continue? You know I’m right.”

It was then that Levi made the mistake of looking at Eren. He was immediately enraptured by those too familiar eyes. They weren’t shadowed by an unknown darkness as they had been in his memories, but bright with a youthful glow. Iridescent under the dim bar lights. Levi could only give in. He’d admired the boy’s determination and his bluntness. Something that Levi prided himself on being and he knew this was what had attracted him in those memories as well.

The older man sighed audibly, “I’m Levi Ackermann. I model during the day and I’m a bodyguard in the evening.”

Eren choked on his drink before quickly setting it down and wiping his mouth, “What?”

Levi rolled his eyes, “I’m a model brat.”

Initially when he saw Eren taking his photo he thought the boy had recognised him from a shoot he had done and was too shy to mention that that may have been where he’d seen before. Levi wasn’t going to confirm anything because he was always wary around others who had figured out who he was. On too many occasions he’d had men or even women follow him home, trying to force themselves on him. Not that he couldn’t protect himself, he just hadn’t felt like hurting anyone that night. Least of all a bright-eyed young kid.

“Oh.” Eren was quiet as he sipped on his beer. He looked as if he was contemplating something.

“Don’t strain something over it.” Levi took to sipping his own drink.

“I didn’t recognise you from any of that. Just so you know.”

“I know.”

“Do you think I could—"

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I’m not free Eren.” Levi could tell the boy was pouting but he needed to keep some of his boundaries intact even if he felt like that one would disappear under the brightness of Eren’s light.

“What kind of people do you protect when you’re being a bodyguard?” Apparently, he wasn’t swayed too much by Levi’s admittedly grouchy behaviour.

“Government officials, gangsters, minor celebrities. Anyone who’s willing to pay. What about you? Are you just a student?” Feeling a bit bad, the older man decided to reciprocate some interest.

“Yea, well, no. I am a student, I just do some photography on the side.” Eren gulped down the last of his beer and Levi pretended not to notice the way the younger boy’s throat bobbed as he swallowed.

“What do you usually take pictures of?” The older man found himself asking.

“People, like headshots and stuff for portfolios and whatnot.” Eren shrugged.

“Do you do anything artistic?” Levi was cursing his mouth for moving without his consent again. This was becoming a problem apparently. The more they talked the more he wanted to know. He could feel the familiarity oozing between them yet Eren was still a complete mystery.

“No not yet atleast… I have an idea of what I want to try but… I haven’t found the right subject yet.”

The pair continued chatting well into the night and Levi found himself completely engrossed in their conversation. He hadn’t even realised how much time had passed until the waiter was doing last call for drinks. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been able to talk to someone like this. His thoughts flitted to the memories they had shared. He wanted to know more. He wanted to quell this burning heat in him that screamed for Eren. It demanded more. He’d spent the entire night exerting all measure of self-control he had over himself not to just give in to his feelings for the younger boy. Every smile, every laugh, every time those green eyes met with his own slate blue, he could feel himself giving in a bit more. It was hard to pretend he didn’t know exactly what those soft full lips would feel and taste like against his own.

Levi paid for their drinks before heading outside. It felt weirdly like a date as he walked Eren home. He tried to tell himself it was just the bodyguard in him wanting to make sure the kid would be safe getting home but, he knew that he was really just reluctant to part with him. This was another feeling Levi had been steadfastly ignoring. Anxiety. Whatever had happened to separate them in their memories was linked to this incredibly strong anxiety at being parted from Eren. He was _afraid_. Afraid he would never see the boy again.

“Hey Levi.”

“Hm?”

“Can I see you tomorrow?” The pair was stopped at the entryway of the younger boy’s apartment.

The older man nearly sighed in relief when Eren hadn’t asked him to stay the night. He didn’t think he’d have the heart to say no.

“Yea. We should probably try to get more of these memories or whatever sorted out.”

“Right, yea.”

“Just meet me at the same place as earlier today, same time if that works for you.”

Eren looked like there was something more he’d wanted to say but seemed to decide against it as he shook his head, “Night Levi.”

Levi nodded before turning on his heel to head back home, his head full of thoughts of Eren and what the future might bring them.

* * *

_Eren felt Levi before he saw him. Full lips pressing against his Adam’s apple in a kiss before laving a wet lick over it. This action was quickly followed by a gentle nibble of the sensitive skin. The younger boy found himself arching into the attention, his eyes still closed as if it as the most natural thing in the world._

_“Eren.” Came the raspy whisper, hot breath brushed against his neck making the wet spot where he licked him cool._

_“Mmmmm” Hands blindly reached up to tangle in silky sleek strands of hair, palms rubbing against the captain’s velvety soft undercut. Goosebumps wracked Eren’s body as those lips continued to kiss and suck a trail down his neck. Rough hands slid their way up his nightshirt to rub down his sides before pulling the shirt right off. The younger boy went with it willingly, tossing his shirt to the side._

_Hot lips engulfed a nipple immediately, sucking the nub to full hardness while a satiny tongue licked over the stiff peak. Calloused fingers moved down to pinch and rub Eren’s other nipple._

_“Hnng Levi I want—” Fingers tangled in black hair tugged gently._

_“Brat let me.” The older man’s voice was muffled against Eren’s skin, but the message was still clear._

_Eren was painfully hard. He could feel the firmness of Levi’s knee where it was pressed against his crotch, subtly rubbing against him. His mouth and tongue worked overtime to suck and lick at Eren’s nipples until they were swollen and hard, leaving a wet trail of saliva from one to the other._

_“Hah..hah.. Levi... please.” Eren was panting helplessly against the older man’s ministrations. He wanted more, he needed more. Strong rough fingers dragged down his boxers, the cool air of the room giving his aching erection a small amount of relief. The relief was short lived as Levi immediately engulfed Eren’s leaking cock._

_“Shit!” he cursed, fingers unintentionally tightening in black hair as Eren fought against the urge to thrust up into the hot, velvety wet heat of the captain’s mouth. Levi choked a bit around Eren’s instant reaction but didn’t pull off. Only doubling down to slide his mouth along the throbbing length until it hit the back of his throat._

_**Bang bang bang bang!** _

_Levi didn’t falter even through the loud banging sound that echoed through the area. It sounded as if somebody was knocking on a door. Eren tried to ignore it in favour of focusing on Levi’s sinfully amazing tongue as it rubbed itself along his cock, throat flexing against him._

_**BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!** _

_This time Eren sat up partially, trying to see through the inky pitch-black darkness, “Levi should we get the door?” The captain continued on as if he hadn’t heard Eren._

_“-REN! –k up! God—brat.”_

_The younger boy was staring in confusion. That voice sounded like Levi, but he was sure the captain had his mouth full at that moment. How was he speaking?_

**_BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!!_ **

Eren found himself staring up at the ceiling in his apartment as the banging reverberated through his home. He didn’t need to guess to figure out who it was. He didn’t even need to guess why really. Levi was going to break down his door if he didn’t answer wasn’t he? Eren dragged his half-asleep form out of bed while still trying to will down the erection that had made itself known from the dream.

“Hold on!” He shouted towards the door and the banging stopped.

The younger man made his way into the bathroom where he splashed some cold water on his face and scrubbed his sleep tousled hair back from his eyes. _Shit shit shit_. He didn’t think he had the face to talk to Levi right now after that dream, but he also didn’t think the man would leave so easily. Something was up.

Pulling in a deep breath Eren turned on the kettle before answering the door. Levi was leaning against the wall, arms crossed, eyes shut with his head tilted back. The younger boy took in the sight, the long smooth plane of Levi’s neck up to his prominent adam’s apple. The younger boy felt himself flush as he remembered dream-Levi’s assault on his own neck.

“Uhm, hey—” Eren’s words were cut off abruptly and his vision darkened.

Levi had grabbed the younger boy’s shirt, yanking him forward into a kiss. A real kiss. Eren’s brain slowed down to a halt as he desperately tried to process what was happening. He knew this feeling. He yearned for it without even truly realising it. A tidal wave of familiarity washed over him, and he found himself responding to the kiss eagerly. Just as he was getting into it, Levi pulled away.

“Shall we?” He gestured towards the inside of Eren’s apartment as Eren tried desperately to get his feelings and reactions under control. _What the hell Levi????_

“Yea.”

After serving Levi tea Eren sat on the couch beside the older man. His head was a chaotic mess of confusion and need. He glanced at the clock, noting it was about 5:00 am. Way too early for him to be awake but sleep would be nigh impossible now. Not after that wakeup call. It had barely even been 3 hours since the pair had split up yet here they were together again only Levi had been the one to seek him out. He sipped on his own tea as he tried to quiet the thoughts crowding into his head. _Why is Levi here? Why did he kiss me? Did I like it? Fuck yes. But why?_ Eren set his teacup down, mindless of his bouncing leg. He didn’t even realise he was fidgeting so much. He picked up his teacup again. He needed to know.

“Why did you kiss me?” The younger man finally asked.

“I was curious.” Levi replied coolly as he drank his own tea calmly.

Eren tilted his head to the side, “Curious about what?” If he had been a more observant person, he would have noticed the way Levi had faltered in taking his next sip of tea.

“If it felt the same as in the memories.”

“Did it?” Eren knew for himself it had felt exactly the same. As if they had done it a million times.

“It did.” The older man offered no more explanation before he went back to his drink.

“Why are you here?” Eren finally asked. It wasn’t that he wasn’t happy to see Levi, but the older man had made it clear that there were boundaries he wasn’t willing to cross.

“What were you dreaming about before I woke you?” The question was asked as if it didn’t matter at all when Eren could tell it mattered a lot.

Immediately Eren felt himself flush red at the thought. He had to put his teacup down again before he accidentally dropped it.

“Er um, what do you mean?” The younger boy hoped playing dumb would get him out of answering but realistically he knew that Levi wouldn’t buy it.

“Eren.”

“Okay! Okay… I guess it was a memory of us.”

“Was it sexual?”

The younger man stared at floor willing himself to disappear into it. How could Levi be so frank about this? He could only nod as he felt the heat emanating from his face from embarrassment. Levi sighed, no doubt realising Eren wasn’t going to be able to say it.

“Was I sucking you off?”

Eren nearly choked at the blunt question, “Um, er, yea. Sorry.” He refused to look Levi in the eye after the admission. How could he face someone he’d just had an erotic dream about? An erotic dream about _them_ giving _him_ a blow job no less like he was some kind of pervert. Eren had never had an erotic dream before in his life if he was being completely honest so all of this was new territory to him.

“Oi brat, listen here. Quit acting like you forced me into something I didn’t want. I’m a fucking adult here. It was a dream. A dream probably connected to whatever these memories we are having are. So, unless we can talk properly about what’s going on here, we’re not gonna figure it out otherwise. Got it?” Although the words were harsh Levi hadn’t sounded like he was truly mad and it eased the ache in Eren’s heart a bit.

“Right, okay. Um, it started with you uh, kissing my neck and stuff and working your way down.” Despite deciding to be honest the younger boy still struggled to speak so plainly.

“Hmm, so same dream as me. Seems like there’s a connection outside of touching as well then.”

Eren didn’t even hear the last half of Levi’s sentence because he was still busy registering the first half, “You had the same dream?”

The older man rolled his eyes, “Yes Eren. I dreamt I was sucking your dick and I loved every second of it. Okay?”

“Capta—” Eren thought he would die on the spot as soon as the words left Levi’s lips, “Levi! I wasn’t—You didn’t need—”

Suddenly laughter rang out in the apartment and the younger boy froze. Levi was… laughing? He felt his heart start pounding at the sound. He loved it. He loved the sound of Levi’s laugh. It was so unexpected and something about it warmed him all the way to his toes. He could only stare in total reverence at the older man’s hunched over form as he laughed himself silly. Suddenly it occurred to Eren that Levi had never laughed like this in the past. He didn’t _know_ but like with everything else he just knew it in his gut. He had never seen Levi’s nose scrunched up or the corners of his eyes wrinkled with mirth before. Something in Eren’s chest loosened at the sight before him. Levi’s incredible laughter filling his apartment. He wanted more of it. He wanted to know what else he could do to hear it. He’d been so focused on whatever the memories were that he was forgetting about the very real and beautiful man who was sitting right there with him. Whatever had happened to them in their past lives, it was over now. They were here in the current modern world, safe and, well, happy really.

* * *

Levi’s sides were hurting from laughing so hard. He probably shouldn’t be teasing the younger boy so much, but he found it so hard to resist when he always looked so nervous at the mention of sex. Especially coming from someone who was so adamant that he was an adult. When Eren didn’t say anything or respond Levi found himself staring into a pair of golden sparkling emerald depths, so deep and stunning under the lights he felt like he couldn’t breathe. Eyes that were a bit _too_ shiny and wet. Was Eren crying? He wondered if he had hurt the kid’s feelings but there was no hint of hurt there. All Levi could see was, well, for lack of a better word, _love_.

“Eren.”

The boy seemed to startle at the sound of Levi’s voice, a tear escaping as he blinked in reflex, “Shit, sorry.” He scrubbed at his eyes roughly.

An arm reached out to comfort the boy but froze mid-air. Levi remembered what would happen if he touched Eren. Now was probably not the time to send them into a memory. The shorter man then wondered if they would ever be able to touch without the memories. He found himself hoping they could.

“What’s the matter kid?” Levi settled on asking.

“You… were laughing…”

An eyebrow raised in response, “and?”

“I don’t know how I know but… you didn’t laugh in any of our memories. If it’s a past life, or whatever it is. You didn’t laugh.”

Levi didn’t know what to say to that. In reality he had never really been one to laugh much to begin with either but something about Eren seemed to wring it out of him.

“Why are you here?”

The older man sighed in reluctance. He’d said they needed honesty, so he was going to lay all out on the table, “I missed you. In my dreams, in real life. I don’t know Eren. I don’t know what to feel or how to feel because all I feel is you. Whatever the fuck this is, it’s fucking with my head. I can’t think straight anymore and when I close my eyes the only one I see is you. So here I am. I saw your stupid face when you opened the door and it felt like I hadn’t seen you in two thousand years. I’m still trying to understand what that even means.” He refused to make eye contact with those brilliant green jewels as he finished speaking.

Silence stretched on between the pair, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable or awkward silence. Levi could tell Eren was trying to process what was said and formulate a reply. The older man sat back and sipped his tea, eyes closed as he basked in the familiar scent and flavour. He now figured it was something from the memories. Perhaps he used to drink a similar tea then.

“Levi?” Eren’s voice finally broke the silence.

“Hm?”

“Can I kiss you?”

Levi wasn’t surprised by the question. He wasn’t even annoyed. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t wanted to kiss Eren again, “What about the memories?”

“Um, well, it didn’t happen when you kissed me at the front door.”

The shorter man blinked in realisation. _That’s right._ He felt stupid for not realising it earlier. Or even thinking about it before they had kissed. He’d just been so focused on what he wanted that he didn’t stop think about if he should.

“Then, yes.” He sat up, setting his teacup on the table before turning to face Eren.

Suddenly hands were on Levi’s face and lips were pressed against his before he even had the chance to blink. He let Eren feel and explore his way. His bigger, fuller lips pressing small gentle kisses to Levi’s own. He was surprised when the younger boy pulled away after only a few moments looking slightly dazed. Familiar eyes, glassy with what looked like tears. Was the kid going to cry again?

“If we’re here. That means we died in those memories, right?” The words were nearly a whisper, but Levi heard every single one.

Ignoring the implications Levi cleared his throat, “Yes. People tend to die.”

“You know what I mean. Like, you don’t really think we lived out a long normal life, do you? You saw those… _things_ too didn’t you? You were a captain which means you must have been in charge of something. Shouldn’t we try to uncover more memories?”

“Right now?”

“I mean… what else are we gonna do?”

Levi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Eren was right, “Yea. But we’re gonna do this somewhere comfortable and we’re gonna stick it out because I’m sick of not knowing.”

“Erm, should we just lie down on my bed? It’s big enough for both of us.” Eren looked almost too eager at the idea of inviting Levi into his bed.

However, the older man did not have any better ideas, “Fine. Let’s do this.”

Once the pair were settled into the bed lying side by side Levi began to wonder if this was a good idea. He had a bad feeling about the kinds of things they were going to experience but, he wanted to know. Well, needed to know really. His mind had been nothing but a confusing mix of feelings the past few days and he thought he was going to go insane from it all.

“Eren. No matter what we see just remember that’s not us now. It’s not the same situation. It’s not even the same place. They’re just memories.” The words were meant to soothe not only Eren but himself as well.

“Right. Okay. Can I hold your hand?”

“Sure.”

Eren’s large warm hand intertwining with his own was the last thing Levi felt before the oblivion of memories overtook them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this! I hope everyone enjoyed it. Please leave any comments or feedback. It is much appreciated.


	3. Sharp Steel Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Eren delve back into their memories to find out how their relationship started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to post a day early! This is the first full fledged past life memory chapter. I will be alternating between past life and modern life chapters until the end of the story now.  
> Song for listening: Rewrite the Stars - Zac Efron & Zendaya
> 
> You know I want you  
> It's not a secret I try to hide  
> I know you want me  
> So don't keep sayin' our hands are tied  
> You claim it's not in the cards  
> And fate is pullin' you miles away  
> And out of reach from me  
> But you're here in my heart  
> So who can stop me if I decide  
> That you're my destiny?  
> What if we rewrite the stars?  
> Say you were made to be mine  
> Nothing could keep us apart  
> You'd be the one I was meant to find  
> It's up to you, and it's up to me  
> No one can say what we get to be  
> So why don't we rewrite the stars?  
> Maybe the world could be ours  
> Tonight

When his sight finally came back the first thing Eren saw was Levi. His hearing had been back for a while, but the mildly grouchy captain hadn’t seemed to be in the mood for chit chat so he kept quiet. Now that Eren could see him the atmosphere took on a whole different feeling. Eren had been under the impression Levi was angry with him for failing to transform, but now he could see it was a different kind of anger. Sharp steel blue eyes were shadowed over with what looked like genuine concern. The younger scout was surprised to begin with that the captain had been the one to take him back to base, but he’d assumed it was because Levi was going to tell him off. Then when he didn’t Eren could only sit there quietly as Levi cleaned up his wounds. Not that it was necessary, the blood was turning into steam just by sitting there and he could feel his face growing back but nevertheless. Levi dabbed at the blood on the skin that was still there, being careful to avoid the empty eye sockets as he went.

“Captain?” Eren looked at the older man questioningly.

“If you don’t have the strength to transform don’t. Don’t be a reckless idiot.” Levi wasn’t meeting Eren’s gaze as he moved about to clean up the bloody rags.

“But I thought I could sir!”

“Did you Eren? Just because it’s training doesn’t mean you need to go until you disable yourself.”

“Captain I’m the one who needs to close up that wall! So I have to!” Eren was standing up now. He may have been taller than Levi but he sure as hell didn’t feel like it under that glare.

“Listen here brat. You’ll be no fucking good to us if you overdo it so much that the damage is permanent. We don’t know yet the limitations to your abilities. Don’t be stupid.”

Eren was painfully aware at just how close the pair was standing. Chests only a slight forward motion away. He could feel the warmth his titan blood emanated rising between them. He could tell it was affecting Levi as he watched a bead of sweat run down the shorter man’s neck. He had the sudden urge to lean forward the rest of the way and lick it off the captain’s skin.

“I… sorry sir.” Eren could only relent under the pair of intense grey oceans. His mind clouded over with thoughts of Levi. _Is his concern strictly that of a captain and a subordinate? Or is there more to it?_ His subconscious reminded him that Levi hadn’t moved away yet. If anything, the captain was breathing just a bit harder, black pupils expanding, bleeding deeper into silvery blue the longer Eren stared into them. Eyes the colour of a cloudy day were disappearing behind black holes of want and need. Eren wanted to let himself fall into it, let himself disappear into their inky depths.

“Eren—”

Levi’s voice was cut off as Eren made contact. The kiss was everything the brunette’s mind had hoped it would be. Levi’s lips were soft and moist against his own. Pliant even. Eren was surprised when with a simple swipe of his tongue along the Captain’s bottom lip, his mouth opened willingly. He was even more surprised when a soft tongue met with his own. Levi’s response had Eren’s brain on the verge of short circuiting. He was kissing him back. Eren Jaeger was Kissing Levi Ackerman and Levi Ackerman was reciprocating. But before the younger man could get ahead of himself sharp teeth savagely bit into his lip causing him to yelp and jump back. He could taste blood. Before he could even react Eren felt a knee connect with his stomach, sending more pain shooting through his body as he fell to the floor.

“You’re on the cart with Historia. Be there in 10 after you take care of _that._ ” A shiny brown boot nudged the semi-hard bulge in Eren’s pants before Levi turned on his heel and walked out, “Try again when you’re 18 kid.”

* * *

Levi sat at his desk pouring over paperwork. The situation with Rod Reiss was over. His mutant titan corpse melting away into steam just outside the wall. Historia would be taking her rightful spot as Queen and he couldn’t think of anyone more fit for the job. It was a nice change of pace and things were looking up.

Eren however, was a whole other problem. Levi didn’t even want to think about how his heart had dropped when they hadn’t been able to prevent Eren from being kidnapped. Even more so when he heard the details about how Eren had been chained up in the cave. Muzzled like an animal. He’d remembered the searing hot flash of rage that whipped through him like a bolt of lightning. It would never have gotten that far if Kenny hadn’t shown up and caught Levi off guard. He’d failed Eren and Historia then. It had been no wonder Eren had been having a meltdown when he’d finally arrived. The captain couldn’t help but feel responsible for it all.

Ever since the kiss Eren had been almost unbearable. Taking every opportunity possible to spend time with Levi. Which was a lot considering the captain was supposed to be the one responsible for him. A fact that Eren was constantly reminding him of. When they were alone the brat would do all he could to make them “accidentally” touch or brush against each other. He thought he was being smooth, but Levi wasn’t born yesterday. Nor was he born 10 years ago. The man had a whole 30+ years under his belt. He’d been around the block when it came to people crushing on him.

Unfortunately for Eren all it did was remind the captain of just how young he was compared to Levi. He wouldn’t do that to Eren. He was still a teenager, he deserved someone his age. Someone with the same untainted outlook on love as he still had. While he still had it. Someone he could grow old with. Levi was too old, too jaded. Not that the early thirties was old, but when your life had been as hard as his, it showed in everything. The way he always sat facing a door; How his first instinct was to reach for his knife when the nightmares woke him; In the way his ankle would hurt before it rained; in the rough pink and white scars that were littered across his skin. Even more so, he could die in a week, hell he could die tomorrow and Eren was far more likely to out live him. Death was forever looming over their heads. It was only a matter of time before Levi slipped up. It was an inevitability for anyone in the survey corps. Slip-ups were fatal more often than not. Levi already figured he was running on borrowed time at this point, Humanity’s Strongest be damned. He wouldn’t be the one to subject Eren to the pain of losing another loved one.

A knock on the door dragged Levi out of his thoughts, “What?” He was immediately cursing himself for not asking who it was just as the door swung open. An all too chipper looking Eren walked in holding a tray of tea.

“Captain, I brought you some tea.” None of the wear and tear of the past few days showed on the younger boy’s face. While his usually bright viridian eyes were slightly dimmer than normal, he lacked the bags under them and the slight drag in his step that Levi had.

“Thanks, on the desk is fine.” He nodded at the corner before going back to his paperwork, determined to ignore the puppy dog eyes Eren was always giving him.

“You look tense sir.” The taller boy was standing infront of his desk fidgeting.

Levi raised an eyebrow, “Eren. I’m not in the mood for your shit today.”

“But—”

“I told you, try again when you’re 18. Go socialise with those friends of yours. Have a real romance with someone your age.”

“I don’t want them.”

“You aren’t old enough to know what you want kid.”

“Stop calling me that. I’m old enough to die but not have a relationship?

“Not with me you aren’t.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.” Eren leaned forward, bracing his hands on the edge of the captain’s desk, forcing eye contact.

“Eren, don’t—” Levi was very aware of just how bullshit it was, but he wasn’t about to admit that.

“Don’t treat me like a child who doesn’t understand love.”

"You are a child that doesn't understand love."

"You don't know that!"

“You don’t honestly think you’re in love me.” The captain felt his heart begin to pound when Eren looked away. He refused to believe Eren truly thought that.

“What if I am? And don’t tell me I’m not. You don’t know how I feel. You don’t see yourself the way I do.”

Levi’s throat tightened as he stared up into the biggest, greenest eyes he’d ever seen. Eyes he always got lost in. It was always so captivating with how much they sparkled under even the dimmest of lights. But now, some of that brilliance was lost. Faded into the horizon of his past. Levi hoped that the light would never be completely lost. He realised then that he needed Eren’s light. He needed the rays of sun that shone between the leaves of the forest trees.

“You know we can’t.”

“Why not?” Levi could tell from the fire in Eren’s eyes that he wasn’t going to relent without an answer.

The captain fell back into his chair, “I won’t steal your youth Eren.”

“What are you talking about? My childhood was stolen the day I watched my mother get eaten by a titan.”

“I will not contribute to it. Enough.”

“Please, Captain! Not until you listen to me!”

“That right there Eren is why you should not even be entertaining the idea of this. I am your captain.” He’d been trying to avoid it, but Levi finally pulled the rank card. Which, much to his dismay, went entirely ignored.

“Aren’t you tired of this?”

“Tired of what exactly Eren? What is it that you want kid? I’m old and grumpy, I don't exactly make for good company. Either one of us could be dead tomorrow.”

“That! Tired of letting the possibility of death control everything you do. You aren’t old! And....I like your company...”

“That is what I signed up for. That is what you signed up for. That is what every single one of you brats signed up for the day you joined the scouts. Go find Mikasa if you want to get your rocks off.”

Eren was nearly seething with rage by the time Levi finished speaking, “I don’t want her. I want you god dammit.”

Levi’s eyes widened. Eren had already been chipping away at his defenses, line by line. Hearing it so straight and serious blew through the rest of them.

“Please Levi. It’s… it’s not hero worship or whatever if that’s what you’re thinking. You may still be my hero but you’re more than just Humanity’s Strongest. You’re Levi. You love tea and reading. You cut your own hair. You sleep in your chair when you can sleep at all. Your time living in the underground is why you care so much about cleanliness and yes, you’re my captain but… you took responsibility for me when everyone else wanted to kill me, you’ve never truly treated me like a monster. You let me make my own decisions and have never forced me into anything I didn’t want. Even then you never blamed me when it went wrong. When I fucked up. You’ve never treated me like a kid before this so why now? What are you afraid of?”

_Losing you._

The captain stared into watery green eyes as he felt his walls and reservations crumbling. All of his feelings towards Eren were rushing to the surface and he was struggling to maintain his mask as the strict and tough Captain Levi. He wouldn’t deny he had always had a soft spot for the boy. Even he was starting to believe Eren was humanity’s hope. He hadn’t had hope for a long time. As much as he hated to admit it Eren was right. He had never treated him as a child. He hadn’t been a child for a long time now. You don’t kick children’s teeth out while they’re helplessly handcuffed to a pole.

For the second time now Eren was kissing Levi. The older man didn’t resist, instead, giving himself in to the taste and feel of Eren’s lips against his. He almost laughed when he tasted toothpaste. The brat really had planned for it. Hands grasped shirts as tongues tangled and savoured each other. At some point Levi realised he had crawled up onto his desk, paperwork folded and wrinkled where his knees had dragged across the wooden surface. A welcome sensation of _finally_ was spiraling through his head as he let himself melt into the kisses. He let the younger man explore. It was clear he was inexperienced but with a gentle hand on his jaw Levi helped guide Eren, show him what he liked and how he liked it. The boy was a quick learner, sucking Levi’s tongue into his mouth when the older man ran it along the seam of his lips. The moan Eren let out shot straight down to Levi’s dick and it took all he could not to respond in kind. Luckily a sharp, forceful knock at his door startled both of them back to reality.

“Ye—” Levi cough and cleared his throat roughly, “Yes?” He pretended Eren hadn’t just kissed him breathless despite the shit eating grin the green-eyed brat was leveling at him.

“Captain? Have you seen Eren?”

 _Mikasa._ Levi felt the colour drain from his face and the smile on Eren’s was wiped clean. It quickly turned into a look of pleading. However, Levi wasn’t that nice. The two of them needed to cool it.

He cleared his throat again, “Yes he’s here. He’ll be out in a minute.” Levi ignored the pouty look of betrayal Eren was now giving him.

“But…” He tried to argue.

“Go Eren. You need to calm down. I don’t wanna see you until tomorrow. Atleast pretend to think about what kind of shit you’re getting yourself into. This is your captain speaking.” He knew that was all he needed to say. Although Eren had challenged Levi earlier on it he knew that they both had jobs to do and letting their relationship interfere could easily mean death for either of them or any one of their squadmates if there was even a hint of hesitation at a crucial moment. Eren knew this was how things had to be whether he liked it or not.

“Yes sir.”

Although he was still pouting, Eren left without anymore argument after an enthusiastic salute paired with a sheepish smile. Finally, Levi was left alone with his thoughts and his now wrinkled and ripped paperwork. He would have to start from scratch.

“Fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanna add I am super proud of this chapter and I hope I was able to capture their personalities and make it interesting! I thrive off any feedbacks or comments~ Thank you to everyone for reading.


	4. Sun Shining on the Caribbean Sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren accompanies Levi to a photoshoot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm early again! I keep getting ahead of myself and so impatient to post.  
> First full fledged smut scene~~
> 
> Song to listen to:  
> I'm Jealous - Shania Twain
> 
> And when the sun's on your skin  
> I can't hold it in  
> And I know it's a sin  
> But I'm jealous of the sun  
> I wish I were the rain runnin' down your neck  
> And drippin' from your fingers  
> And I could be the drops rollin' off your back  
> I'd love to let it linger (jealous of the rain)  
> Oh, I'm jealous of the rain

Levi blinked up into the darkness of Eren’s room. _Great. I let a fifteen-year-old seduce me._ He felt himself cringe in mortification as he brought a free hand up to scrub at his tired eyes. What happened to his self control? He felt Eren shift on the bed beside him and suddenly he became acutely aware that they were still holding hands. When he tried to pull his hand away the younger boy only gripped tighter.

“Kid, I gotta take a piss.”

“Oh. Okay.”

With that the older man’s hand was relinquished and he quickly made his way to the washroom. The tap water was cold and refreshing against his tired face. Levi stared at himself in the mirror. He didn’t need to see himself in the memories to know he must look exactly the same. Glossy black hair and pale blue-grey eyes. He knew the bags under his eyes were the same. Sleepless nights plagued him in this world too it seemed. However, he did appreciate a nice comfortable bed over a chair.

Levi knew that had the Eren that was currently in the bedroom been a few years younger, he too would have looked the same. Big golden green eyes, as bright as the sun shining on the Caribbean Sea, only without the shadow of his past. His mother having died in such a horrific way must have been traumatising. The older man wondered what the situation was now with Eren’s parents. Was his mother still alive here? Did he have the same mother even? He wondered about Mikasa as well. Who was she? Perhaps she was Eren’s sister, or a friend. Either way they both seemed like they dreaded her presence.

Levi wasn’t sure what to do with himself at this point. His need for Eren had only grown and he was well aware of just _how_ adult the boy was, and he was tempted. More tempted than he had ever been in his life. He had already given into that temptation previously which in reality had ended up being a terrible idea because now he only craved Eren more. The siren’s call of their lost souls screaming for each other across 2000 years of lost time.

After another cold splash of water on his face Levi made his way back out. Eren was up and sitting on the couch, his long brown hair tied back into a bun, green eyes hidden behind closed eyelids. The older man’s heart ached at the sight. It was as if he’d seen it a thousand times but not. He looked a far cry from the young teenager in the memories but still had the same aura of familiarity. He knew this Eren too. Levi’s stomach rumbled, breaking the silence of the room.

“Breakfast?” He asked. The answering smile was all he needed.

* * *

Eren sat nervously in the booth of the diner they had walked to. He still hadn’t been able to process all that he had experienced in the joint memory. The overwhelming feeling of love and affection the memory had for Levi was staggering. He could feel it now in his very bones. This man had meant the world to Eren in a previous life. Even now, the way charcoal black hair fell across the older man’s forehead, shading his light eyes was entrancing. He wanted to know more about the Levi sitting in front of him. He wanted to know just how similar he was to the Levi in the memories. Were they really the same person? Even while asking his mind supplied the answer. They were, but at the same time they were still different. But how different?

“What’s your favourite food?” He found himself blurting out the question before he could stop himself.

Levi raised an eyebrow from behind the menu, “Why?”

“Um, just curious, I guess… I don’t really know anything about you…” He felt stupid asking but really wanted to know. He realised then it wasn’t something he’d known about Levi in the past either.

“Honestly Eren it’s not something I’ve ever really thought about.”

“Oh okay.”

After a moment of thought the older man spoke again, “Probably apples or vanilla ice cream if I had to pick something.”

“What about your favourite drink?”

“What is this? 20 questions?”

“Er sorry, you don’t have to answer…”

“Tea… or scotch.”

It was at that moment that the waiter came to take the pair’s orders before walking off again. Levi had indeed ordered tea, as well as a waffle with fruit and vanilla ice cream. It seemed that the older man had a sweet tooth. Something that surprised the brunette. Eren felt a bit silly ordering his own breakfast of eggs, bacon, ham, sausage, and toast. With extra bacon. He was just, very hungry. This time however he opted for coffee instead of tea. He’d never actually liked tea but always had this weird desire to keep it in stock. Now he understood why but the change in beverage earned him a look from the man across from him.

“I don’t… actually care about tea that much I only had it because…” He found himself at a loss for words, how could he explain? But Levi seemed to understand and nodded solemnly. Of course he understood why.

After the waiter had brought their drinks Eren managed to scrape together the courage to ask one burning question that he’d had ever since he found out a particular fact about the older man, “What kind of uh… modelingdoyoudo?” He stared down into his cup of coffee. He couldn’t bring himself to look Levi in the eye. He knew it wasn't any of his business but he still wanted to know. He had his suspicions considering how little the other had said about his profession, but his curiosity got the better of him.

“Do you really want to know Eren?” A voice much huskier than it had any right to be asked.

The younger boy could only look away and nod, his heart pounding in his chest.

“I do nude modeling for an erotic magazine.”

No amount of preparation could have braced Eren for that answer. Immediately he felt his face flush red and heat up with embarrassment, “Oh.” He had suspected something like it but hearing it so straight and no nonsense from the man himself was nearly too much for his heart to handle.

Yes, in his memories he may have had his mouth on Levi’s dick, but it wasn’t like he saw the whole picture of the man naked. He wanted so badly to do a photo session with him. It didn’t even have to be a nude one necessarily. Eren was always just so enamoured by everything about him. He wanted to capture every angle, every expression, every reflection of light that shone in his slate eyes. Levi was undeniably stunning, so it was no surprise that he was a model. Even under his clothes he was probably beautiful.

When Eren finally looked up he was met with those very same eyes only this time they were tinted with what he thought was uncertainty. Was Levi afraid Eren wouldn’t like him after finding out? The very idea of that nearly made the younger boy sick to his stomach. The thought of never seeing Levi again… Even after knowing him for only a few days… he couldn’t imagine it. He refused.

“If you aren’t comfortable with that we don’t have to continue –”

“No! I don’t care about that. Even if you were a prostitute I wouldn’t care!” That earned him another raised eyebrow as he practically shouted it. A few heads of the surrounding diners perked up to see what the fuss was before quickly going back to their meals.

It was at that moment the waiter came by with their meals. Eren was grateful for the break in tension. He hadn’t meant to be so loud, but he really just couldn’t imagine giving Levi up over that. He didn’t care what Levi did with his body, as if it was even his decision to begin with and if Levi enjoyed it then he’s 10 steps ahead of Eren. he was just a useless college student who only wished he could be a photographer. The kind of photographer good enough to capture the older man's beauty. Eren sighed forlornly before digging into his breakfast.

“Eren, do you have class today?”

The younger boy looked up at Levi with a start, “Uh, we’re on reading week right now so no classes until next week.”

“Do you have any plans for later today?” Levi oddly enough, wasn’t meeting Eren’s eyes.

The brunette shook his head, “No.”

“I have a photoshoot today in a few hours. Do you want to come?” Eren had been in the middle of swallowing a bite of food that he very nearly choked on when Levi spoke again.

After a rather ungraceful bout of coughing and throat clearing Eren was finally able to respond, “Really?” He could hardly believe his ears. He’d cleaned them recently right? Or was he just so tired he was hearing things? However, he couldn’t help but be hopeful.

“I wouldn’t have asked otherwise.”

“Yes! Er I mean, sure. I’d… love to.” _Be cool you idiot!_ Eren tried not to grin as he dug into his breakfast. He’d always wanted to know what the inner workings of a full-blown photo shoot were like. And well, seeing Levi naked? Could only be a bonus.

The conversation flowed easily between the pair after that. Eren found himself being able to ask about all the other things he’d been curious to know. Levi preferred cats, which was good because Eren did as well. He had been in the military but ended up leaving as soon as he could because he couldn’t stand living with so many other people. Then he took the skills he learned from that, fleshed them out and became a bodyguard for hire. Initially Levi hadn’t planned on becoming a model but someone he had been a bodyguard for happened to be a fairly well-known photographer who’d expressed annoyingly persistent interest in using him for a photo shoot. He decided to give it a shot and well, the rest was history as they say.

After breakfast was paid for, by Levi because he insisted, and a quick smoke the older man hailed a cab to take them to the studio. Eren was regretting not bringing his camera but decided he would focus on learning all he could first-hand.

The ride to studio felt like it took ages. Anxiety curled through Eren’s gut. _Was Levi really okay with this?_ A small voice in his mind reminded him that he modeled for a magazine. Something that anybody could buy. Eren wasn’t exactly going to be the first or only person to see Levi naked. This was something the man did for a _living._ He chose to be nude infront of countless people. Then Eren’s mind started to wander to just how erotic these pictures got. Were they tasteful nudes with all the sensitive bits more or less covered? Were they full on sexual? Was he going to end up watching Levi jerk off or something? Eren felt his pants tighten at the thought. _NO! Brain shut up!_ He chastised himself mentally and tried desperately to derail his train of thought. It didn’t matter. If Eren wanted to be a professional, he had to act like a professional.

“Oi, kid.” The familiar voice startled Eren out of his less than innocent speculations.

“Huh? What?”

“Relax. It’s not like you’ve never seen my dick before.”

“What—that’s—Levi!” Eren sputtered in distress. Then he heard the older man laughing and it was as if his spell of anxiety was broken. Levi was laughing again. The sound sent a wash of relief spiraling through Eren, releasing all the tension he hadn’t realised he had been holding. Levi wanted him there. Levi had invited him. It would be fine. It would be better than fine.

* * *

After leaving Eren with the camera crew, Levi headed to the change room to prepare for the shoot. He wasn’t even sure the kid noticed him leaving for how much he was looking around and in awe at everything. The older man tried not to dwell too much on the fact that he had invited Eren to watch him do a nude photo shoot. Levi wasn’t shy or modest about it but thinking about _Eren_ specifically seeing him naked, sent a different kind of thrill through him. He wasn’t even sure what came over him, asking Eren if he wanted to come. But something about the dejected look the boy was giving his plate of breakfast paired with his earnest response to Levi’s admission wrung it out of him. He was getting soft towards the boy. It was getting harder and harder to remember that they had only just met.

Levi showered quickly and slipped into the usual dark green silk robe before making his way out to the set. He found Eren standing off to the side, big green eyes still taking in everything. When he finally noticed Levi, his eyes got even bigger before looking away bashfully. Levi took that opportunity to cough, bringing the younger boy’s attention back to him, before loosening the ties of his robe and slipping it off with a smirk. He couldn't seem to resist teasing the boy. If he’d kept looking he would have noticed the look in Eren's eyes begin to change, to take on a whole new look. Something resembling mischief.

With the instruction of the photographer Levi settled into the first pose. He glanced over at Eren and immediately regretted it. All traces of embarrassment were gone, replaced with what Levi could only describe as _heat_. Fire burned in those big emeralds, so hot the older man thought he would combust on the spot from it. He turned his focus elsewhere as he tried to forget that look of desire. Suddenly he really was wondering if this was a good idea. He felt the burn of Eren’s gaze like a brand. He didn’t have to see him to know what look the younger boy was giving him. The look of pure unadulterated passion and adoration.

Levi swore silently when he felt his cock swell with arousal. _Fuck_. Never in his entire modeling career had he ever gotten hard while doing a shoot. It was probably the least erotic thing he had ever done to begin with. Sitting under hot lights infront of dozens of people shifting into all sorts of positions, usually uncomfortable ones at that, but here he was sporting a half chub because of some bright-eyed brat who looked at him like he was the world.

Tension crackled between the pair as the photoshoot continued. Eren never once took his eyes off the older man, and Levi didn’t even have to look at him to know that. However, he did make the mistake of looking when he had been directed to sit in a fairly compromising position, leaving his legs open and in direct view of the brunette. Levi nearly cursed outloud at the brat who took that opportunity to go as far as to blatantly drag his eyes down from Levi’s torso to his crotch before licking his lips in what he probably thought was a seductive manner. It wasn’t, but that didn’t stop Levi from thinking it was hot anyways. _Where did the shy little shit go?_ Levi was desperately struggling to stop his halfie from becoming a full-on erection. Flashes of their joint memories ran through his head as thoughts of Eren’s warm wet mouth consumed him. This was bad.

After another agonizingly long round of pictures Levi had to do something, “Oi, I need a break.” He hastily threw on his robe and tied it shut.

“Wait really?” The photographer seemed confused, “You never take a break.”

“Well, I need one now, is that a problem?” Levi was in no mood to argue.

“No, it’s fine.” His boss turned to the rest of the crew, “We’ll reconvene in half an hour.” And with a wave of his hand Levi was off.

The older man marched over to where a very worried looking Eren was standing, “You. Follow me.” Doing nothing to alleviate the boy’s worry he decided to let Eren think he was in trouble, make him sweat a bit.

Without even checking to see if the boy was following him Levi made a beeline for the change room. The second the door was shut behind them Levi was dragging him forward into a harsh kiss. He couldn’t help but laugh into the kiss, he felt oddly elated at his decision to give in to his yearning. He felt free even. What had he been so hesitant for? It was clear Eren was into him, he was into Eren. They were both consenting adults. He wanted and for once he decided to take what was being offered.

There was no hesitation in the brunette who kissed back ardently and enthusiastically. Tongues tangled, licking into each other’s mouths hungrily as if kissing each other was the key to living and fuck if the older man didn’t feel more _alive_ than he had in his entire life. It wasn’t just a want, but a need. So desperate and all-consuming that Levi was lost in a sea of sensation. Before the older man realised what was happening Eren had taken control of the kiss. Pressing Levi back against the door, hands on his head, tilting it back to plant wet opened mouthed kisses along his jawline, biting and nipping as they went.

“God... damn… brat.” Levi panted as he leaned his head back against the door, giving in to the feel of Eren’s lips. So warm and damp as he kissed down his neck. Levi moaned as he felt the brunette’s kisses get firmer. Now he understood where his self control had gone in those damn memories. Clearly the little shit had sucked it out of him.

“No… no marks.” The older man managed to gasp in between breaths. His boss would kill him if he came back covered in hickies. Not that he didn’t want Eren to mark the fuck out of him, but he also wanted to get paid. Maybe after this he would take a long ass vacation in bed with the apparently hungry brunette.

A cool gust of air across his flesh, sent goosebumps rippling across Levi’s skin as his robe dropped to the floor. He was fully hard now, his cock red, swollen and leaking steadily where it jutted out from his body. He moved a hand to grasp himself, to do anything to relieve the burning heat building in him but Eren was faster. The taller boy pinned Levi’s hands to the door at his sides before dropping to his knees infront of the older man to nuzzle the coarse black hair at his crotch, _inhaling_ like he was the best thing he’d ever smelt. The head of Levi’s dick caught on a smooth cheek in the process, leaving a shimmering smear of precum. Eren either didn’t notice or just didn’t care, Levi bet on the latter but could barely spare a thought to really think about it.

Hands were released and fingers ruffled coffee brown locks, tilting Eren’s head back until blue met endless green. Black pupils blown wide with arousal. The younger boy looked almost drunk as big veridian orbs blinked up at him slowly. Levi knew this look. He loved this look. After taking a second to compose himself, forcing thought through the haze of pure need and want Levi spoke, “Eren you don’t have to do this. Just because we had a few memories it doesn’t—Jesus fuck!”

Eren answered by tonguing the tip of Levi’s cock, licking along the slit hungrily, “Mmmmm.” He hummed as he continued his assault on Levi’s dick, tasting and sucking at it greedily.

The older man’s head dropped back against the door with a bang as he felt Eren’s tongue slide along the shaft, so hot and wet. Something nagged at Levi that the boy’s body seemed to run much hotter than normal, but he was lost the second that tongue moved to lick at his most sensitive spot below his glans. Eren did not slow down, the warm wet swathe of his tongue moved up to circle the head of his dick before slipping under his foreskin wiping all thought from Levi’s head as his knees threatened to give. It was as if Eren already knew exactly what to do to drive the older man wild. The younger boy had moved his hands to grab Levi’s thighs, preventing him from thrusting into the endless heat of his mouth. He sucked at the tip hungrily, his tongue prodding incessantly at his slit as if it was the fountain life.

“Fuh fuh fuck. Eren.”

Whatever Eren did with his throat then that sent a vibration through Levi’s body had him moaning as he fought against the surprisingly strong hold the younger boy had on him. The heat of Eren’s mouth was intoxicating and altogether _too much_ but he still wanted more. Needed it.

“Fuck, I need—” He discovered he was shameless enough to beg, but the words had barely left his mouth before the younger boy engulfed his cock. Sliding his throat down along Levi’s throbbing erection until his nose was buried in hair.

Levi didn’t dare move. He didn’t dare think. He couldn’t even breath around the feeling of his dick so tightly sheathed by the younger boy’s throat. He stared blankly at the opposite wall as he fought against his near climax. He knew this feeling but at the same time he had never felt anything like it before. In the span of seconds, he’d been brought to the edge of his orgasm. Teetering on the brink of ruin. He wanted to be ruined. Eren seemed to sense just how close Levi was so he stayed still, big green eyes staring up at the older man, blinking expectantly. Levi realised he’d been gripping Eren’s hair, perhaps a bit too hard. Fingers loosening in soft tresses Levi took a few seconds to drag in deep, calming breaths as he resisted the fierce wave of arousal. The older man brushed long shaggy strands of hair off Eren’s face, hoping the younger boy could see his feelings, see the adoration that was overpowering him.

After grabbing Levi’s hand and placing it on his head again, a silent request for more, Eren began to move, sliding his tongue along the bottom of Levi’s cock as he drew back to the tip. He sucked lightly on the head before plunging back down. Levi gasped, almost immediately brought back to the precipice. Large hands moved along thick muscular thighs and up, slipping up to knead into the flesh of his ass, pushing him forward urging him on. Blue eyes widened in surprise.

“Eren you can’t be—” Said boy swallowed thickly, flexing his throat around the erection encased in it as if to make a point, “Fuck ok. Just. Pinch me if it’s too much.”

Shining seas of emeralds fluttered in affirmation. Starting, albeit haltingly, Levi began to thrust into the soft pliant mouth. It was so warm and wet, but he was so nervous about hurting Eren. He knew he had been given permission, but he would rather die than abuse the power he had been given by this precious boy. The bottomless heat spurred him on, and when Eren continued to take him in stride he felt reassured so he gradually increased in speed until he was lost. The combination of Eren’s fingers digging into his ass, paired with the scorching velvety feeling of the younger man’s mouth was staggeringly arousing. Saliva seeped out of the corner’s of Eren’s mouth, dripping down his chin obscenely. Tears trickled steadily from the corners of his eyes and down his cheeks as Levi plunged into him. In a moment of panic over Eren’s well-being he tried to pull out, but the younger boy dug his fingers in refusing to relent. The older man wondered if he would have bruises on his ass after this. A distant part of his mind reminded him he still had work after this, yet he was hard-pressed to care even a little bit. He needed to finish this quickly for Eren's sake. Luckily it would not be long.

“You’re so good. So good Eren. You’re so beautiful. So amazing.” And endless litany of praises fell from Levi’s lips as fingers combed gently through soft brown hair. He was hurtling towards his climax at breakneck speed as Eren worked his throat around Levi’s throbbing cock.

Suddenly Eren was shuddering as unseen tremors seemed to run through his body, his throat clamping down around Levi. The older man’s orgasm abruptly ripped through him at the unforeseen reaction Eren was having. He desperately tried to pull out of the brunette’s mouth but hands like vice grips still held him in place as he came. Eren swallowed eagerly with each pulse of Levi’s cock, shivers still wracking his body. Sparks popped and flashed across Levi’s vision as he fought to keep himself on his feet as he rode out his climax. He could only groan as Eren continued to suck him dry and into oversensitivity.

“Okay okay, Eren, that’s enough.” Glassy eyes were bright behind trembling eyelids as the younger boy sat back, pulling his mouth off Levi with a pop. A string of come stretched lewdly from the corner of Eren’s mouth to the tip of Levi’s rapidly diminishing erection. Absent mindedly the younger boy licked his lips, breaking the strand. He was a mess.

Immediately Levi was on his knees, robe in his hand, using it to wipe down Eren’s face uncaring of ruining the fabric. He pushed loose damp hair away from the brunette’s face affectionately, as he continued to dab away any remnants of sweat, tears, and semen, “Hey, you okay?” The older man was grateful he kept a case of water in the change room. Reaching over to grab a bottle, he uncapped it and handed it to the younger boy who drank it down greedily.

“Yea.” Eren finally answered, his voice hoarse. He smiled cheekily at Levi, the expression easing something in his chest.

Levi cursed himself for not thinking of it sooner, “Hey, do you want me to help you get off?” He gestured vaguely towards Eren’s crotch. Why was he suddenly feeling embarrassed?

“Um….” The younger boy’s face flushed a brilliant shade of red, “I kind of already…” He looked away sheepishly.

All at once realisation dawned on the older man as he thought Eren's reaction from earlier. Eren had come, completely untouched just from sucking Levi off. He stared at the brunette in disbelief, “You came.” It was a statement of fact. A fact that nearly made Levi hard again right then and there. He was thankful the orgasm was as mind-blowing as it was or else, he wouldn’t be able to go back to work.

“Yea…” Eren looked like he was ready to run away.

Levi groaned, “You are going to be the death of me you brat.” He handed him the already soiled robe while going to the closet to grab a new fresh one for himself, “Clean yourself up. I have to get back out there but take your time okay?”

“Can I still watch?” the younger boy asked hopefully.

The older man couldn’t help but huff out a laugh, “Of course.” Before leaving he cupped Eren’s face in his hands, planting a tender kiss on his lips before heading towards the door.

He was starting to feel like he truly knew Eren. The same overpowering affection he felt in the memories was seeping into his real life and he didn’t want to stop it anymore. He wanted Eren. He wanted those shimmering golden pools of light and hope. He hadn’t wanted much in his life. He just worked to live and lived to work. He’d never really felt like he’d had much of a purpose in living or in anything he did to begin with. Eren, even for how short of a time he knew him, well, he wanted to take care of him. He wanted more.

“Hey Eren,” Levi stopped in the doorway and looked back at the beautiful boy still sitting on the floor, cheeks rosy and flushed.

“Yea?”

“Do you want to come to my place after this?” The grin that lit up that boy’s face was all the answer he needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for reading!!
> 
> Turns out Eren learned some fun stuff from his memories ;)


	5. Cool Slate Shimmering in the Dusk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This memory takes place shortly after Erwin's death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song to listen to:  
> I get to Love you - Ruelle
> 
> The way you love, it changes who I am  
> I am undone and I thank God once again  
> Oh I, can't believe it's true, sometimes  
> Oh I, can't believe it's true
> 
> I get to love you, it's the best thing that I'll ever do  
> I get to love you, it's a promise I'm making to you  
> Whatever may come; your heart I will choose  
> Forever I'm yours, forever I do  
> I get to love you, I get to love you  
> I get to love you, I get to love you
> 
> They say love is a journey, I promise that I'll never leave  
> When it's too heavy to carry, remember this moment with me  
> I get to love you, I get to love you  
> I get to love you

Eren didn’t go see Levi after Erwin’s death. As much as Levi said giving the titan syringe to Armin was his choice he couldn’t bring himself to face the captain. He wouldn’t feel guilty about Armin living but he felt guilty about disobeying a superior and arguing. He’d deserved to get his teeth kicked in. _Again_. Eren sighed forlornly. He missed Levi, he missed him a lot but wasn’t so sure the captain felt the same. Currently he was mopping the hallway outside of said captain’s quarters. A task delegated to him by Armin when the chores list had come out for the squad. He’d tried desperately to argue against it, but Armin was adamant. A strange glint shone in his eyes as he shoved a mop and bucket into Eren’s hands and then shoved him out the barrack doors.

So here he was, trying to mop down the floor as fast as humanly possible but still trying to do well enough for the captain’s approval. Very distinct footsteps echoed off the walls. Eren looked around in a panic for somewhere to go but Levi’s room was the only door at a dead end. He cursed internally before deciding to turn his back to the open end of the hall and resume mopping. He would just pretend he didn’t hear anything, and hope Levi didn’t notice it was him. _Fat chance_. The footsteps stopped abruptly infront where Eren knew Levi’s door was.

“Eren.”

The younger boy jerked around to face Levi and immediately felt his stomach drop. Circles of exhaustion darkened the older man’s already tired looking eyes. Several days worth of facial hair shadowed his once clean jawline. His usually flawless posture was gone, his shoulders hunched in on themselves as if they couldn’t bear the weight. Eren realised then the gravity of what he had done. He had let Levi down. He’d wanted to be the person Levi could talk to, to go to but when push came to shove Eren had run away. He had left the person he loved most alone to deal with his grief. His best friend had lived but Levi’s hadn’t. Eren had actively tried to prevent Levi from saving someone who had changed his life and subsequently abandoned him in the aftermath. There was no blame, no condemnation in the way Levi looked at him, only quiet heartbreaking understanding. Nausea roiled in Eren’s stomach as he felt the tears well up. His mouth moved but he could make no sound. His heart was shattering at the sight before him.

Levi opened the door to his room and gestured inside, “Come on brat.”

Mop and bucket abandoned, somehow the titan shifter managed to get his feet to move, to bring himself into the room he was now well acquainted with. The familiar scent of Levi wafted over him as the door was shut behind him. Eren felt like he couldn’t breathe through the pain in his heart. He could only imagine how much worse Levi was feeling.

“I…I…sor- sorry.” Eren struggled to speak through the tears that spilled over.

“Hey, hey. Eren, come here. It’s okay.” Levi was pulling the taller boy towards him. Immediately Eren wrapped his arms around the captain tightly as if he would never let go again. He didn’t want to. He’d missed the feeling of Levi in his arms. They always fit together so perfectly.

“I’m sorry. I love you. I’m sorry Levi I—”

Eren froze when he felt the subtle shudder of the body wrapped in his own. A telling wetness against his collarbone made it all too painfully clear. All at once the captain seemed to sag against Eren, his body going lax against the younger boy’s. He was there to catch him as he fell. His own tears forgotten Eren focused on comforting Levi. Hands running soothingly up and down the quivering back. Levi needed him and Eren had abandoned him.

The taller boy didn’t know how long they stood there. Eren’s arms like a vice grip around Levi, still trembling and shaking in his embrace. Not that he cared how long it had been. He would stand there all night if he had to. He would stop being such a coward when it came to Levi from now on. He loved the man with everything he could but had always held some reservations on just how much Levi cared about him. He felt ashamed for how he’d doubted him. How he’d assumed Levi’s feelings were not as strong as his own that maybe he'd brow beat the captain into being with him in the end. As if he could _force_ Levi into anything. He was giving himself far too much credit. He really was an idiot.

Eventually he felt Levi’s body stop shivering and strong arms come up to wrap around the back of his neck, fingers curling into the hair at the nape of his neck. Eren looked down and was startled when green met with cool slate, shimmering in the dusky evening, rims still red and wet. He’d never seen Levi looking so vulnerable. So close.

“Kiss me Eren.” Levi’s voice was hoarse and wrought with too many emotions to name.

The older man had barely finished speaking before Eren’s lips crashed into his. Several days worth of stubble scraped across the brunette’s face, but he was hard pressed to even notice. He could taste the salt from Levi’s tears as they kissed. It was a slow, gentle kiss. Eren savoured the feel of it. The feel of Levi's rough calloused fingers across his skin, sending ripples of goosebumps down his spine. The feel of tear damp lips as they moved against his own. Eren brought his hands up to cup Levi’s face, thumbs rubbing over the coarse bristles of his unshaved cheeks. Its unfamiliarity sent a pang of guilt ricocheting through him. Sliding his hands up to tangle in surprisingly greasy hair Eren could feel how much longer Levi’s undercut had gotten. His heart ached.

“Hey, Levi?” He knew that the captain preferred bluntness. It's not like he would be oblivious to his current state, “Do you wanna take a bath? Together I mean.”

The rough laugh that Levi gave loosened something in Eren’s chest. They would be okay, “Yea okay brat. You better take responsibility for me now.”

Once the bathtub was full of hot steaming water, the scent of lavender wafting through the room, the pair took turns undressing each other quietly. Eren kissed every inch of skin as he exposed it, tongue licking over the thick scars that adorned his lover’s body. He kissed his way across the back of Levi’s neck and shoulders as he pressed his thumbs into the tense hard muscles there. The captain leaned back and hummed at the attention. Eren was familiar with these scars, some faint and white from the passage of time. Others thick, raised, and pink from how fresh they were. It never failed to make his heart clench.

“We should get in.” Eren helped to guide Levi into the tub, still kissing everywhere he could reach as he climbed into settle behind the older man.

He resumed massaging Levi’s shoulders. Digging his thumbs into the flesh firmly. The captain let out a groan of satisfaction as he let his head fall back onto Eren’s shoulder, closing his eyes. While he was happy they were able to have this moment the younger boy was still feeling incredibly guilty about how he’d acted.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay Eren.”

Using a hand to prevent it from pouring into the older man’s eyes, the brunette carefully poured water over the top of Levi’s head until his hair was dripping wet. The captain didn’t even flinch or open his eyes at the sensation.

“It’s not. I should’ve come to see you.” After working shampoo into a lather in his hands, Eren started to rub the soapy bubbles into the greasy black locks. Fingers worked and rubbed the foam into Levi’s hair while massaging his scalp. The older man hummed in satisfaction as he leaned into the touch. Eren made a mental note about Levi seeming to enjoy being pampered, something he’d be more than thrilled to do again.

“I could have come to see you too.”

“But I…”

“What is it you think you did Eren? Didn’t I tell you I made the decision of my own accord?” Dusty blue stayed hidden behind closed eyes, framed by long black lashes as Eren began rinsing out the captain’s hair.

“You just seem so…”

“Depressed? Moody? I don’t know, sad? Would _you_ be faring any better if it had been Armin? Can we stop talking about this? You didn’t do anything wrong or unexpected even.”

Once the shampoo was fully rinsed out of Levi’s hair Eren wrapped his arms back around the shorter man before shifting to rest his chin on his shoulder.

“I doubted you.” The younger man admitted shamefully.

“Hmm?”

“I doubted your feelings for me… I thought that you were done with me.”

Levi sighed and finally opened his eyes, “Eren, you’ve done nothing _but_ doubt me since I met you. You may not doubt my abilities, but you have doubted my decisions every step of the way. I can’t control whatever bullshit you cook up in that half-baked brain of yours whenever I’m not around. Besides, you were not the only one having doubts. I kicked your teeth out. Again.”

“I deserved it.”

Eren could nearly feel the strength with which Levi rolled his eyes, “Nobody deserves to have their face kicked in for trying to save a friend. I… also handled myself poorly. I’m sorry. Now can we really stop talking about this? It’s about all the feelings crap I can handle for today.”

The older man tried to get up but Eren held him fast, burying his face in the back of his neck, “I love you Levi.” These were not words they had said yet to each other. Eren had said it earlier but he had also been a blubbering mess of emotions at the time and wasn’t sure if Levi believed him, “Also it’s okay if you don’t feel the same. I’m happy like this.” He added on quickly when he felt the older man tense under him. He didn’t want Levi to feel like he had to respond in kind. He knew how he felt towards to the captain but he also knew that the older man was more wary and slower at accepting feelings.

“I do Eren.”

Sensing that the captain really was at the end of his rope for mushy moments Eren helped him out of the deep tub as he tried not to grin. Levi may not have said the words, but he could tell he’d really meant it.

“Can I shave your face?” Eren asked as he watched Levi pull out the straight razor after wrapping the towel around his waist. That earned him a raised eyebrow.

“Do you even know how to shave?”

“I mean… I’ve watched you do it a lot…” Eren used a towel to rub the water out of his hair before tossing it to the ground and slipping back into his pants.

“If you slit my throat it will be the last thing you do.”

Eren took the straight razor that was being held out to him. After lathering the bottom half of Levi’s face up with shaving cream, he took a minute to replay in his mind all the times he saw the captain do it. He could do this. He _wanted_ to do this. He felt responsible for why Levi even let himself get like this.

Pulling in a deep breathe he began. Eren was silent as he concentrated on the task at hand. Levi didn’t try to talk either, seeming to sense Eren’s focus, also probably trying to minimize the risk of getting sliced. However, he hadn’t flinched once, really driving home the amount of trust he had in the younger man. Scrape by scrape the several days worth of facial hair was shaved off, returning Levi to his previous pristine looking self. Not that Eren had anything against a scruffy captain but for the older man to have gotten to this state partly because of Eren was different. He wondered if Levi would let him do his undercut too. Once finished, he helped to rinse off the older man’s face, laughing as Levi swatted Eren’s hands away when he tried to rub the moisturizing oil in too.

“Brat let me do it. I’m doing my own hair too. Go get into bed. Don’t pout. Shoo.”

Eren wasn’t going to complain about being told to get into bed. That meant Levi was going to let him stay the night. Something he didn’t do often. After changing into one of the several pairs of boxer shorts he’d left here for this occasion he dragged his suddenly tired body under the covers. He remembered the first time Levi had let him spend the night. He had naively thought that they’d be staying up late chatting, laughing, and fooling around before falling asleep in eachother’s arms. _Wrong._ The captain had sat at his desk doing paperwork well into the night, to the point of Eren just falling asleep out of tiredness. When he woke up in the morning the captain was asleep in his _chair_. Eren had pouted for the whole day and after a few serious conversations and some more pouting he had finally been able to get Levi to join him in bed. It was then he’d learned about a whole new issue. One that made his stomach twist with concern. The nightmares. Turned out Levi was prone to nightmares. Bad ones. That was also how Eren learned that Levi always carried a knife with him. Even in bed.

For once the titan shifter was happy that he was one for the quick healing. He had been disoriented waking up to a captain straddling his waist, pinning him down, with a knife to his neck. His first instinct had been to go for his hand but then he realised it was Levi, a Levi who seemed a bit off kilter and unresponsive. After a few calls of the captain’s name and some gentle jostling, faded blue eyes blinked into consciousness. Immediately zeroing in on the thin line of red that beaded along the edge of the knife, wisps of steam already healing him. Levi stopped bringing a knife to bed after that. He almost stopped sleeping in the bed with Eren completely before they’d barely even tried.

A sensation of the bed sinking down under the weight of a body brought Eren’s attention back to the present as Levi joined him. Much to Eren’s chagrin he was in some soft looking pants and a long-sleeved shirt. Far too over dressed. However, when Levi shifted to slide into the covers Eren noticed just how well the fabric seemed to hug certain areas of his body, leaving very little to the imagination.

“Horny brat.” Levi chastised playfully as he felt the burgeoning boner in Eren’s pants against his backside when the younger man pulled him close.

Eren nuzzled the crooked of Levi’s neck, planting kisses as he went, “I don’t want to do anything tonight.” He just wanted to feel the man he loved against him. He’d missed him so painfully much over the past few days. He didn’t want to think about how many hours he’d spent staring up the ceiling, his gut churning with anxiety and guilt over it all.

“Oh?” Levi looked back, an eyebrow raised.

“I mean! Unless you want to!” Eren would be more than happy to oblige the captain but he suspected the older man needed sleep.

Levi chuckled before rolling over and tucking himself into Eren’s arms, face against his chest in an oddly vulnerable move, “Go to sleep.”

Eren was more than happy to with the best thing in the world wrapped in his arms.

* * *

“Captain?” a quiet voice reached Levi’s ears, a warm hand cupping his face, the other gripping his wrist firmly.

It took a moment for the older man to realise he was sitting up, his arm up like he had been in the middle of trying to punch something. Eren was holding him in place. _Shit._ Guilt clenched in his gut, but the younger boy seemed unharmed.

“Did I hit you?”

The titan shifter was shaking his head before he’d finished speaking, “You missed. Hit the pillow.” He didn’t seem like he was lying. Only concern reflected in those shimmering greens.

Levi let the tension he was holding release, sitting back when the brunette released his arm. He wanted to leave. Eren was lucky it was the pillow this time. Who knows what it might be next time? He’d already nearly slit the kids throat the first night they’d tried this. He’d been lucky that it hadn’t happened again since then, but that luck was bound to run out. Levi moved to get out of bed, but a hand was grabbing his wrist again.

“Please Levi. Please stay.”

“Eren I nearly—”

“But you didn’t! Even if you did I don’t care. I don’t care. Please don’t.”

“This is for you own safety kid.”

“So I can go out and turn into a titan to fight other titans but _now_ you worry about my safety?” 

“I _always_ worry about your safety Eren but it’s different when I am the direct cause. Let me go.” Levi was starting to hate how Eren always knew what to say to get past his defenses. 

“No.”

Levi sighed. He knew he could easily get out of the younger boy’s grip, but something was stopping him from really pulling away. In truth he was tired. Tired of always feeling like he needed to keep himself at arms length. He wanted to be able to lean on Eren, but despite everything he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t do that to him, couldn’t be another burden. He’d already caved earlier that day and the guilt was still eating at him. It wasn’t Eren’s responsibility to pick him up off the ground, he had enough of his own problems. He didn’t need Levi’s too.

“Eren… I can’t do it. I can’t do this knowing I might hurt you. I’ve hurt you enough. Let go.”

“You’re not the only person who’s part of this Levi.” Eren tried to argue.

“Damn right I’m not. You are too and I’m making the best decision for both of us.”

“Why do you get to decide!”

“Because you’re being an idiot Eren.” With that Levi yanked his arm out from the younger boy’s grasp.

Hastily he pulled his uniform pants on over his pajama pants and moved to grab for his jacket. Strong arms wrapped around him from behind, trapping him, a face buried itself in his neck stopping the older man in his tracks. Levi felt wetness against his skin. He felt his blood go cold as he registered what was happening. He'd made Eren cry again. Eren who'd had enough pain in his life, enough sadness. He just wanted to love Levi and was continually being pushed away because of the older man's own insecurities. _Fuck_. What was he doing? He was actively hurting Eren, the thing he was trying to avoid in the first place. _Turns out I’m the idiot. Levi_ swallowed back the guilt that threatened to bubble over. Eren wouldn't want that. He would understand. Levi could lean on him, he'd proven as much earlier.

“Eren I—”

“It’s okay.”

“You deserve better.”

“I already have the best.”

Levi didn’t stop Eren anymore as he led him back towards the bed, sitting him down. Quietly he dragged the older man’s uniform pants off, taking his pajama pants with them. He ignored the raised eyebrows from the captain and moved to pull off his shirt as well. Levi could only let him. His mind and body giving in. There was only silence as Eren also undressed. Together they climbed back into bed, this time Levi wrapping his arms around Eren, tucking the younger boy’s face into his neck. His thoughts were calm. Clear even. What was the point in fighting so hard against something he wanted so much? Maybe for once he could reach for something that made him happy. In a world where they could die tomorrow, where every day was unpredictable, why couldn’t he at least try to be happy? Levi had spent so much of his life living like a man who had nothing, who wanted nothing, but now, he wanted something. He wanted Eren. Levi tilted the sleepy younger boy’s head up, kissing him softly. Green eyes blinked up at him hazily through the fog of sleep.

“I love you Eren.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank everyone for reading! Any feedback or comments are welcome and much appreciated.


End file.
